Sunday, 22 March 2009

Mad Mothers day

How do you make your mother hopping mad on a day where she has been blissfully relaxed?

It is a straight forward and single pronged approach. When you arrive at the allotment site begin to accelerate away from your family, thus arriving at the plot about forty five seconds before they can. It must be just enough time and distance away from them so that they can still hear you and glimpse your actions. Your mums attention wi
ll be drawn by the loud cracking sound as you throw yourself onto the newly erected frame of the cloche. You will lie there briefly arms outstretched like a footballer who has just scored. The frame will be totally unrepairable. Your mum will be ranting and spitting feathers. You will need to cry bitterly in an attempt to downgrade the serious nature of your actions. All this will cost you £10 as you will be told that you will be paying for a new one.

For the rest of the afternoon your mother will be perplexed as to what makes a 6 yr old do this, she will utter strange questions in an attempt to determine the state of your mental health. Job done!

I have a little dilemma my salmon flowered peas have become so leggy in their loo roll tubes that I have just had to put them into the ground at the allotment as there is no other home for them. I have hardened them off but I know that it is not the right time to plant them out, but it is a case of die in the tubes or chance it on the patch. I have no real hopes of seeing their salmon flowers appear, and I'm expecting that the other plot holders will be discussing such a rash move if they spot it.


littlegreenfingers said...

I can't believe you even took them with you! The only thing I asked for this mother's day was four hours in the garden child-free.

Let us know how your sweet peas get on - mine are still crowded on my kitchen windowsill

femminismo said...

Ah, I have got to get my sweet peas in the ground. Here in Oregon it's perhaps past prime time! Love the loo roll idea. I'll think about saving them up for next year - Jeanne